


No Plan

by theimaginesyouneveraskedfor



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Challenge Entry, Cheating, Dark, Dark fic, F/M, Noncon sex, Pregnancy, Unexpected Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy, dark!bucky barnes, dark!fic, noncon, tw:cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:00:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24555067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theimaginesyouneveraskedfor/pseuds/theimaginesyouneveraskedfor
Summary: You and Bucky had the perfect marriage until you didn’t.Warnings: noncon sexual acts (sexual intercourse); unplanned pregnancy; cheating.This is dark!Bucky and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.(Fair warning, this is very depressing and rough)
Relationships: Bucky Barnes/Reader, James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Comments: 31
Kudos: 311





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this was kinda impromptu and out of nowhere. I haven’t done a legit one shot if forever so here ya go!
> 
> Hope you enjoy it. Thank you. Love you guys!
> 
> Please leave some feedback in the comments and a kudos <3

_Based on this prompt:_

_‘Shadow of what I once was.’ -Chance the Rapper_

_for @honeyhan-123‘s_ [ _One Year Anniversary Challenge_ ](https://honeyhan-123.tumblr.com/post/619993662054678528/one-year-writing-challenge-in-a-joint-celebration)

**_Supplemental Lyrics:_ **

_Where did you go? Why would you stay? You must have lost your marbles You always were so forgetful In a hurry, don't wait up I was too late, I was too late_

* * *

Your feet ached. Even in the low heels, you felt as if you’d been standing on nails all night. Your round stomach made it hard to balance without the added challenge of your shoes. The dainty lilac silk was taut across your middle and your swollen breasts were barely contained by the off the shoulder bodice. You were told you were glowing but you felt anything but.

Your husband had wandered off as you were too tired to make the journey across the room. You found a random chair among the tables and lowered yourself heavily. An uncleared plate remained beside a champagne flute with a mouthful left in the crystal. You rubbed your stomach and sighed as you looked around.

Tony’s extravaganza’s always wore on but these days, time felt even more excruciating. The endless anxiety of the child within you, the urge to make it all go faster yet bask in what you had. 

It hadn’t been planned. You and Bucky had always agreed that children would only complicate your perfect simplicity. Neither of you had a deep yearning for a baby but you didn’t always get what you wanted. There were alternatives, you had talked about them. Those weren’t good enough for him. 

So there you were, bloated and nauseous. A different woman than you were. And he’d changed too. You could tell. Temperamental. One moment doting and delicate; the next impatient and hostile. 

_Was it the stress of the unexpected? Or was it more?_

You’d loved each other so entirely, you didn’t think he could have anything other than love for a child. At first, it seemed to be so but then as the months passed, his delight turned to resent. He didn’t say so but he didn’t need to. You couldn’t blame him. You felt the same and it made you sick. This child within you didn’t deserve that. So you cried alone at night; hidden in the bathroom as he snored, indifferent and ignorant.

You watched him with Steve and Sam; laughing. He didn’t do that much anymore. Neither did you. Maybe if you just talked about it, you’d realise that you were both trapped in the same dreadful limbo. The interminable wait. The fear and confusion of it all.

Maybe if he knew you were disappointed in yourself. Your career was on hold, if not over. You couldn’t be on active duty anymore, not with another life attached to you. His own was unaffected and perhaps your envy kept you from telling him of your woes.

_Is this how it would be? You alone with the child as he saved the world?_

You huffed again and dropped your hand from your stomach. You looked down at the stretched silk. You couldn’t even weather a party without taking a breather. And now that you thought of standing up, you realised that might be a task on its own. Only six months and you felt ready to burst.

“How do you feel?” Wanda surprised you as she appeared from behind your chair. “You must be so excited.”

“Excited,” You smiled weakly. “In a way.”

“Oh, but it will be a miracle,” She chimed. “A little baby Bucky.”

“Well, we don’t know,” You rubbed a circle over your stomach with your fingertip. “He didn’t want to know.”

“Better, a surprise!” She sang.

You grumbled and shifted in the chair.

“Sorry, but could you…” You held out your hand. “Thank you.” You let her help you to your feet. “Is that the dress you were telling me about?”

She looked down at the dress with it’s peacock feather fringe and grinned. Her blue eyes sparkled and her golden hair shimmered down her back.

“It is,” She confirmed. “I found it at a rack sale… a bit tight but I managed.”

You chuckled softly. Wanda checked in more often than any of your other co-workers. Most only did when they were with Bucky or with a casual text. Wanda invited you to lunches and offered to baby shop with you when Bucky was too busy. You still had much to do and time seemed so trivial.

“The shower!” She clapped her hands. “I didn’t show you the invitations.”

“I told you, we don’t need one,” You insisted. “Bucky’s not much for that stuff and well, I don’t have much of a family to invite.”

“You have us,” She insisted. “We are your family.”

You could barely keep from frowning. You weren’t even sure you’d count your husband and the unborn child as family at that point. It didn’t feel like a family. It felt like a terrible obligation.

“Thank you, Wanda,” You reached over and squeezed her hand. “Excuse me, I’m not feeling very well.”

“You okay?” She clung to you.

“Fine, I think…” You fanned yourself. “I think it’s time to head out for me.”

“Okay,” She let you go, “Go rest, momma.”

You nodded with a sheepish smile and turned to waddle across the room. You were almost out of breath by the time you reached Bucky. Steve saw you and smiled. He welcomed you closer with an arm around your shoulders.

“And look at your wife,” Steve announced. “Each day, brighter than the last, I’m sure.”

Bucky turned and his cheek twitched. His veneer almost cracked. Sam nudged him playfully.

“Uh huh,” Bucky gave a crooked, half-hearted smile. 

“Now, do you think the arm is genetic?” Sam kidded and Bucky shot him a look. “Well, that definitely will be.” Sam pointed at Bucky’s scowl.

“Um, hon,” You wiggled away from Steve and touched Bucky’s cuff. “I think we should go. I’m tired.”

There was a pause. His tongue poked out just slightly and then he nodded.

“Well, guess that’s my cue,” He finally said to Steve and Sam. 

“I should be headed out soon,” Sam checked his watch. “Jet’ll be here nice and early.”

“Shit, yeah,” Bucky shook his head. “Why does Tony do that?”

You stayed quiet throughout their farewells, suppressed your misgivings. Finally he hooked his arm through yours and guided you to the door. When you passed into the hallway and approached the coat check, you finally found your courage. And your voice.

“You didn’t tell me you were leaving tomorrow,” You said softly as you handed in your ticket.

“Didn’t I?” He wondered as he grabbed your coat and handed it to you, then took his own. “Must have slipped my mind.”

You said nothing as you pulled on your coat.

“Tired,” He scoffed as he swept past you. You followed him to the door, unable to keep up more than a step behind him. 

“Bucky,” You pleaded from behind him, barely catching the door as he marched through it. “Don’t do this.”

“It’s funny how whenever I’m having fun, I have to stop because you’re not,” He huffed as he continued down the sidewalk. “That kid can’t be an excuse for you to be a bitch.”

“Excuse me?” You were startled by the venom in his tone. These mood swings had grown more frequent but no less tolerable. “Well if it was such a big deal, I’m a big girl, I can hail a cab.”

He rolled his eyes and unlocked the car as he rounded it.

“Then why didn’t you?” He got in and slammed his door. 

You opened the passenger side and lowered yourself into the seat. You closed the door but didn’t have the chance to buckle your belt before he pulled sharply out of his spot.

“I’m sorry,” You said. “I didn’t--”

“You didn’t think? Or you don’t care about me?” He gripped the wheel tightly and the leather groaned.

You were quiet. You picked at the button on your coat.

“You said you wanted to keep it,” You uttered.

“Don’t make me the bad guy,” He snarled. “Don’t. That’s what you always do. Hmm? What if I had said get rid of it? Then I’d be a monster.”

You were hurt but the anger constricted your throat and you glanced over at him.

“I told you to wear a condom,” You crossed your arms. 

“You said you were on the pill,” He growled. 

“I was!” You shouted. “You counted the pills yourself, you fucking--”

“I don’t want to do this again,” He raised his voice. “I can’t.”

“Then why do you do it?” You hissed.

“Because…” He sighed. “Because you make me.”

You lowered your chin and fought to hold back the tears. You shouldn’t have ever told him. You should have just made the decision yourself. You’d still be happy then. Him, too. He’d still love you.

“I can’t wait to fucking leave tomorrow,” He muttered. 

You lifted your head and blinked at him, stunned.

“Good,” You swallowed the acid in your throat, “Good. I can’t wait either.”

💔

Bucky slept on the couch that night. He didn’t say goodbye in the morning though you heard him leave. You were still angry but it wasn’t enough to blot out the hurt. The anger was nothing, but the stab in your heart was torturous.

You woke up slowly. Getting out of bed was awkward and descending the stairs was more than enough exercise for the morning. You mourned your specialty coffee beans and had juice instead. You buttered two pieces of toast alongside a soft-boiled egg and sat at the kitchen table with your laptop.

You could distract yourself with shopping. You still needed to paint the nursery. _Hell, you still needed to do anything._ Your procrastination was quickly growing overwhelming and you couldn’t wait until month nine to get your ass in gear.

You mulled between an emerald green and a canary yellow. Then a crib and a change table and a rocker… everything. Too much.

You wiped your hands and began to scroll more intently. The speakers binged and a small notification popped up in the corner. You ignored it as you mused at the koala sleeper. _Cute._ For a moment, you almost felt happy. Then you felt lost again.

_Would it always be like this? Would you always be so alone?_ Bucky should’ve just left you. If this wasn’t what he wanted, if you weren’t what he wanted, he needed to just say so. _Was this even what you wanted?_

The same notification beeped and you clicked the small x without reading. A third time and you huffed. You rubbed your eyes and hovered over the small rectangle.

_From: Marina; Rendezvous tonight? ;)_

_Marina._ You squinted and sat back. You knew that name. You knew her quite well. You’d trained her only a year ago. The last you’d heard, she’d only just been cleared for field duty. You clicked the alert before it could flick away.

Bucky had left himself signed in. He didn’t have his own laptop, he rarely used yours; only to type up his reports and often you ended up doing it for him. You tapped your fingers above the touch pad and clicked the small bubble icon. The page loaded his messages and you felt nauseous. You gulped the last of your juice and braced yourself.

You dragged your finger along the pad and glossed over the conversation. He had been up all night, talking to her. You froze as you saw the first image; your husband’s hand around his dick. The one above was Marina; her toned stomach and perky tits, a pretty little v. You slammed the laptop shut and shoved it away.

You were mortified. Disgusted. You don’t know what to do but you know you have to do something. You look around at the life you’ve built with Bucky then at your growing stomach. You stood with a groan and left the kitchen. 

You climb the stairs slowly. You felt numb. You should have been angry, or sad, but the humiliation had seeped to nothing. Complacency. What you were used to.

You dressed and grabbed your phone. You sat on the bed and dialed. You waited for the other end to pick up.

“Hey,” Wanda sang from the speaker.

“Hey,” Your voice was steady. Emotionless. “Are you free to help me grab a crib? I saw this one online and I’d like to go check it out.”

“Of course!” She exclaimed. “Can Nat come? We were just finishing up our session.”

“The more the merrier.” You said and hung up without awaiting a response. 

You had to get out of the house. Away from the walls that only reminded you of him.

💔

In the days that Bucky was gone, you spent your days busy. Wanda helped paint the nursery a goldenrod yellow and assembled the crib. You hung up the little framed pictures of Winnie the Pooh and his friends along the walls and ordered a changing table with built-in drawers; then a rocker with a cushioned footrest, a mobile, a baby monitor… Just a little at a time. Distraction with a dollar sign.

And there were several times when your heart got the best of you. You looked at Bucky’s messages once more before you signed out of his account. Your eyes burned. They had, indeed, rendezvoused and you wondered if he was even working at all. You sniffed back your tears and carried on.

You didn’t need to worry about Bucky anymore, he didn’t worry about you. What you needed to worry about was the child. You would give it the life you couldn’t have. You would make it feel wanted because you could never wish such a horrid feeling on anyone else. Your love wasn’t his anymore, it was your own and it would be your first gift to your baby.

On the fifth night without him, you fell asleep on the couch. You were too lazy to drag yourself up the stairs and so you drifted off watching an episode of reality drivel. You woke with a start. Your legs were warm and a smooth thumb rubbed your ankle as your bottom half was draped over Bucky’s lap.

You sat up and tried to pull away. He kept hold of you as you propped yourself up on shaky arms. His touch was gentle but it stung so much. It was false affection; not affection at all.

“You didn’t tell me you were coming home.” You gulped.

“You didn’t answer any of my other texts,” His hand tickled past your knee and crawled back down. You wore a loose nightshirt, made shorter by your bump, and nothing else.

“Let me go,” You tried to wrench your legs away but your stomach made it awkward and painful. He released you reluctantly. “You didn’t even say goodbye to me and you expect me to answer.”

You grabbed the arm of the couch and tried to stand. He reached over to help as his hand grasped your hip. You stepped away and turned to cross your arms. He tilted his head as he watched you. He remained on the couch, leaning back against it with a shrug.

“Am I crashing your party?” He asked.

“Only your own,” You hissed. “You don’t have to stay. I’m sure Marina would love another rendezvous.”

He nodded and looked at his lap as his tongue slid across his lip. He didn’t look guilty, merely amused. He lifted his eyes to you and smirked.

“Is that what this is about?” He raised a brow. “You’re my wife.”

“You’re fucking her. Don’t think I’m stupid.” You snarled.

“Fucking her but I didn’t marry her,” He stood.

“I’m keeping the house, it’s the least you can do for our child,” You huffed. “Since you won’t do anything else.”

“I’m not going anywhere, babe,” He neared and you tore your arms apart. You held your stomach as you backed away from him. “I made a vow.”

“You’re cheating on me,” You snipped. “Fuck your vow.”

“She’s nothing. She’s stress relief. You are… everything,” He kept on as you walked backwards. Your back met the wall and he grasped the doorway right beside you, keeping you from slipping away. “I won’t make an excuse. I’ve been fucking her and it gets the job done but… I’ll only ever love you.”

“Bullshit,” You snapped. “You know you’re full of it.”

His hand startled you as he touched your stomach. You looked down at the metal as it stretched over the cotton. You were shaking.

“You want me to stop, I can stop. I don’t need her. I need you.” He grabbed your arm with his other hand. “I only ever think of you. Even with her.”

“Bucky--” Your feet scuffed over the hardwood and nearly caught under the edge of the rug. He shoved you ahead of him and you stumbled just in front of the couch. “Stop!”

“That’s _my_ baby. You’re _my_ wife.” He growled as he caught your shoulders and pushed you forward. Your knees met the sofa. “So be a good wife and serve your husband.”

“Get--off!” You struggled with him but you were off-balance. You lifted your legs onto the couch and he bent you until your head was on the back of it.

“Lonely? Is that the problem?” He dragged his hands down your back. “Mmm, look at you.” He lifted your nightshirt until your ass was bare. “Pregnancy looks well on you.” He kneaded the flesh with his metal hand as you heard his fly. You pushed back and he grasped your neck. “You don’t want to hurt the baby, do you?”

You froze and your eyes widened. You let out a murmur but could manage nothing else.

He pushed his knees between yours, you felt the rough denim of his jeans just below his cock as he rubbed against you. He was hard already. You squirmed and grabbed the back of the couch as you tried to lift yourself.

He poked at your entrance and your back ached as he pulled you against him. He pushed inside of you and sighed. He forced himself to his limit and you whimpered. He leaned against your back and his hot breath circled your neck. His metal hand came down next to yours and his other reached around to cradle your stomach.

He began to thrust, slowly. He purred in your ear and caressed it with his lips. Your legs shook. You were shocked; at his roughness, at the way your body reacted, at the suddenness of it all.

He sped up and you mewled. You quivered as you pushed back into him. Embarrassed as you couldn’t decide if you wanted him off of you or if you wanted more. His zipper bit into your ass as he panted into your neck, his hips never wavered. His fingers curled and uncurled across your stomach and he bit into your neck.

“Don’t you ever think of leaving me,” He snarled as he jolted your body. “Ever. Because I will always find you and I will always have you.”

He grabbed your neck and drew you back. You scrambled and kicked out as he turned you swiftly. He sat with you on his lap, his other hand still on your stomach as his other slipped to your hip.

“Keep going.” He ordered. 

You whined. Your lower back was on fire and your leg muscles thrummed. He guided you, rubbing your stomach as you began to rock atop him. Your arms shook as you used his thighs to keep moving.

“Ugh, yeah, yeah,” He groaned and planted his feet. He hammered into you from below and you bounced helplessly in his lap. “Fuck, fuck, here it comes.”

You felt him cum. His body spasmed as you were filled with his heat. He pulled you back against him, your legs splayed around his as he caught his breath. He held your stomach with both hands and slipped his metal fingers down to your thigh. His cock slipped just a little and he played with his cum as it leaked from you down his shaft.

“You don’t want me fucking her,” He sneered, “Then you do your duty as my wife.”

You tried to get off of him but he forced you back down until your walls were straining around him. He held you there until you stopped moving. Until you hung your head in surrender.

“I’m not done,” He snaked his hands further up beneath your nightshirt and cupped your tits and tweaked his hips. You winced and began to move once rock. “Mmm, these are even nicer than I remember.”


	2. Shrike

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: noncon sex/rape; unplanned pregnancy; cheating; cucking
> 
> This is dark!Bucky and Steve and explicit. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
> 
> (Fair warning, this is very depressing and rough)
> 
> Summary: You struggle to come to terms with your marriage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why did I do this? I don’t know. But here it is.
> 
> Hope you enjoy it. Thank you. Love you guys!
> 
> Please leave some feedback <3

You smiled at Wanda as she stood with you. Her enthusiasm for your unborn child was the only bright spot left in your life. And all the work she’d done to welcome it into this world was overwhelming. The shower was as extravagant as any of Tony’s soirees and you suspected your friend had finagled a fine budget from your boss. Stark was certain to enjoy the catering as he picked at the cheese plate and chatted with Vision.

You had barely a month left to you. Time had seemed to slow down in the last month; in the weeks since you discovered your husband’s betrayal. He had made sure of it and yet now, as the day fast approached, time wasn’t enough. It moved so fast and it felt as if you were just watching it pass you by.

_When the child came, would Bucky find even more excuses to be away? To deceive you with another? Would it just be Marina or would there be others?_ You had started the same way; on a mission, what could have easily be a one time thing had grown to three years and a marriage.

But he hadn’t gone on any other missions. You didn’t dare to check his messages but his presence had grown unyielding. When you thought yourself alone, he was there, lurking; wanting. That night on the couch, the night he returned to you, when you confronted him, was only the beginning. 

Even if he was mean, it didn’t restrain his desire. Nor did it ease your insecurities; _did he truly want you or was he thinking for you? If you hadn’t said a word, would he be fucking you or would he still be sneaking around as you did all the work?_

Those questions didn’t matter and you didn’t ask them. You were terrified of your own husband, the father of your child, and you knew you couldn’t leave him if he was so set on keeping you. He was the best at what he did; he found people and there had been none who had ever evaded him. He always got them in the end.

Or maybe it was the fear of your own inadequacy. Maybe you were projecting your anxiety onto him. You could leave but you were just afraid to do that. To do it all alone. Before, you had thought you could, you were eager even to be away, but your due day edged closer and closer and your courage waned. 

“Are you okay?” Wanda’s voice brought you back and you made yourself smile.

“Um, yeah,” you rested your hand on your stomach, “Did I tell you how wonderful this is?”

“Only about a dozen times,” she laughed, “And it wasn’t just me, Nat helped… well, you know how she is about helping.”

“Oh, so she chose the lifelike cake? Because I don’t think I can eat that even with my hormones,” you kidded but your voice was thin and your chuckle a mere crackle. “I guess I should make the rounds--”

You turned and faltered as another guest entered. Her dyed hair hung in loose waves down her back and rippled in the light as she greeted first Sam, then Steve, and finally your husband. Bucky squared his jaw but smiled at her nonetheless. Marina held a flat box under her arm as she preened with the three men.

“Excuse me, Wanda,” you whispered, uncertain she even heard you. 

Your march was more of a waddle as you passed Pepper and Nat then Bruce and Clint, his children flitting around the room as their mother chided them. You came up beside Sam and crossed your arms above your stomach. The stone set in your chest.

“Marina,” you greeted. Sam and Steve flinched at your tone and Bucky’s brows drew together.

“Oh hi,” she chimed, “I’m sorry I’m late. I had to go back and grab my gift. I left it--”

“I didn’t even know you were invited,” you said harshly.

“Well, yeah, I’m part of the team--”

“I thought you were just another agent. Barely more than a trainee.”

“Yeah, but I’ve been working with--”

“Do you wanna do this here or in the hall?” You hissed.

Here green eyes flashed and her face fell. She looked at Bucky and he shrugged. Steve looked confused but Sam looked away guiltily; he knew.

“Here?” She asked, “I don’t think--”

“I won’t ask again.” You uttered.

She stared at you then glanced around. She turned slowly and you followed her out the way she’d come. You stalked her down the hall and she spun back to you.

“It wasn’t--” She began.

“I know what it was. And I know my husband is just as guilty as you but I can’t have you here. I can barely stomach him.” You snarled. “So take your gift and get your money back. I don’t want it.”

“I’m sorry--”

“No, you are not. Not for what you did. Only for getting caught, just like him. I can’t make him stop but I won’t have it rubbed in my face. And you will have nothing to do with me or my child.” You said staunchly. “And if you have it in you to show me an ounce of decency, you won’t tell anyone else about you and my husband.”

Her lips parted and she batted her lashes. She nodded dumbly. “Okay,” she eked out, “Yeah, I’ll…” her words trailed off and she turned away. You watched her go and stood hollow as the elevator opened to meet her. You shook your head as the metal door slid closed and you turned to lean against the cool wall.

“I haven’t-- We haven’t--” Bucky said as he approached you, “I stopped with her.”

You looked at him sharply and your lip curled. “Does that make it better?”

“I’m trying. The least you could is try too.” He touched your arm and you winced.

“Try at what?” You scowled. “Pretending?”

He squinted at you, an air of nonchalance about him. He caressed your arm as he moved to stand before you. “I love you.”

“So? Is that supposed to help me raise our child knowing what you did? What you’ll do again?”

“I might but I’ll always come home to you,” he smirked.

“Your disgusting,” you huffed, “This is a joke. All of it.”

He leaned in and cradled your face. “Everyone came to celebrate your mistake, why don’t you show some gratitude?”

“My mistake?” You sneered, “That’s not fair.”

He bit his lip as he inhaled deeply. His eyes fell to the top of your blouse and he toyed with the tented hem that hung over your bump.

“You’re hot when you’re angry.” He rasped, “I really thought you were going to drag her out of there… pregnant and all.”

“Get off,” you spat, “I should get back. We should.”

“We… have time,” he purred, “Come on.”

He grabbed your hand and retreated as he tugged you away from the wall. You tried to break his grip but he was too strong. He backed up and felt blindly along the door at his back. He twisted the handle and drew you in after him. You brought your hand up to jab his throat and he blocked you easily.

“You’ve slowed down,” he rebuked.

“Get off of me,” you grunted as he reached past you and closed the door. “Bucky.”

“Keep it down.” He grabbed your shoulder and turned you to face the door. “Just like Geneva, remember?”

“No,” you grasped at his metal finger hooked over your shoulder as his other pulled the thick band of your pants down your stomach and slid around to uncover your ass. “Please, I…”

His hand moved to cover your mouth as his other pushed on your back until you were against the door, bent so that you could not crush your stomach. He tickled his fingers along your ass and dragged them along your folds. He growled as he paused to unzip his jeans. You murmured into his vibranium palm and he nuzzled your neck as he pressed close.

Your feet slipped as you slapped the door and he guided his tip below your ass. He inhaled your scent and nibbled at your skin.

“Keep me happy and I won’t have to look for anything else,” he slithered.

You sniffed as your eyes tingled. You hated the way your body responded to him. Even there, even after facing down the other woman, he could take control so easily. That was how it would be; he would always be in charge.

He slid into you slowly and let out a long sigh as he did. Only that morning, he’d done the same as you tried to choose something to wear. You closed your eyes as scenes flashed in your head; him cornered you beside the bed until you fell onto the mattress. Your legs against him as he rutted into you. You were thankful then you could not see his face and the way it darkened. He’d never looked like that before the mess; never been so rough or selfish. He’d never just used you before.

He thrust into you and his hand tightened around your jaw. You stood on tiptoes as he snaked his arm around you and his fingers stretched over your stomach. You braced yourself against the door as he sped up and your thighs began to shake. You panted into his hand as his heady breaths swept down your neck and chest, his head buried in the crook of your shoulder as he muffled his grunts.

The door shook as he hammered into you and you curled your fingers against the metal. Your eyes watered as you came around him. It was humiliating. He knew you could not resist him; physically or sexually. He hissed suddenly and pulled out. He released you and stifled his moans as he stroked himself through his climax.

You turned to lean against the door as you peeked over at him. His cum dripped down his cock as the floor was spattered with it. He looked around the dark closet and searched the shelves until he found some paper towel. He snickered as he wiped himself and crumpled up the dirtied towel.

“Shoulda done that months ago,” he said, “But I guess it doesn’t make a difference now.”

You scoffed and rolled your eyes as you pulled your pants up. You hung your head and fixed your blouse.

“Tell me you did with her,” you muttered, “You didn’t…”

“Always wore a condom,” he declared. “I don’t need another fuck up.”

“Is that all our baby is?” You croaked.

“Our baby,” he smiled, “Ours.” He did up his pants and tilted his head to crack his neck. “You know what I mean. Don’t need a kid by anyone else. Even you would agree.”

You shook your head and looked away. “Whatever.”

“Hey,” he touched your elbow as he grabbed the door handle, “Brighten up. We’ve got guests waiting.”

💔

You sat in the nursery as you looked around listlessly. It was a rare moment of solitary. Bucky had been called away by Stark and for once, he hadn’t been able to get out of it. You were relieved to be alone and yet, it gave you no peace. You looked around the room, at the crib, the change table, the mobile, and the plushies given to you at your shower. There was only one piece left.

As you tried to picture your little one in your arms, you were disturbed by the ding of your doorbell. All the better as you were struggling to accept the baby as a reality. You stood and made your way downstairs as a shadow stood on the other side of the slatted windows in your front door.

Steve waited on the other side, a folded up stroller in his hand. He smiled at your surprise.

“I was just dropping this off before I forgot.” He said. The contraption had been the only present you couldn’t fit in the car.

“Thanks,” you reached for the handle, “Bucky’s just gone into the office to talk with Tony so…”

“So I can’t come in?” He asked.

“Well, of course,” you stammered, “Come in.”

He lugged the stroller in himself as you backed up and he stepped inside. He leaned in against the wall and knelt to remove his boots. He hung his leather jacket and looked around. 

“It’s been a while. You two must be so busy. So excited.”

“Very busy,” you said. “You want a coffee or something? I was actually about to have a snack.”

“Sure,” he followed you as you turned to lead him into the front room. It seemed ages since he’d been to visit; he used to be there almost as much as Bucky. “How are you feeling? How long you got left?”

“I’m alright,” you said as you entered the kitchen, “Barely a month…”

“Maybe a Christmas baby. You think you’ll beat the snow?” He wondered.

“Hmm,” you shrugged as you went to the coffee machine and loaded it up. You basked in the scent of the ground beans. “God, I miss coffee.”

“You don’t have to-- Water is fine.” He stood on the other side of the large island. “I could do it myself.”

“No, it’s fine,” you assured him. “Thanks for bringing the stroller.”

“No problem at all,” he said.

You hit start on the machine and pulled out the container of veggies and dip from the fridge. You’d chopped them up yesterday but forgot about them as everything else distracted you. You set them on the counter and pried off the lid.

“I still have some cake from the shower,” you offered.

“This is fine,” he took a baby carrot and popped it in his mouth.

It was silent as he chewed and you dipped a piece of cauliflower. You ate pensively as you felt him watching you as you stared at the countertop. You noticed a scuff and grabbed the cloth to rub it out.

“How are you? Really?” Steve asked suddenly.

You looked up at him and smiled. Your face fell in and instant and you shrugged. His blue eyes bore into you. “Just anxious. It’s a lot. A big change.”

He nodded and drew his brows together. “I’m not stupid. And Sam’s no good at keeping secrets from me. I can’t believe he did for so long. And Bucky--”

“Steve, please, I don’t want to talk about it. About her.” You went to the cupboard and pulled out a mug; the one with a print of his shield on his side that you kept just for him. “Besides, shouldn’t you be asking Bucky?”

“I did. He said I was imagining things and the whole scene with Marina was just a misunderstanding.” He leaned on the counter. “I don’t know why he won’t even talk to me. The only reason Sam knew is because he caught them on a mission and--”

“Steve,” you pleaded, “I can’t.”

He pressed his lips together and frowned. “Why don’t you leave him?”

“And how would I do that? You think I didn’t want to?” You shook your head and filled his mug from the pot. You placed it before him.

“I think he’s afraid. He doesn’t wanna mess the kid up.” Steve said.

“Well, he’s already messed me up, hasn’t he?” You challenged. “Why are you saying all this? Are you trying to get me to forgive him? To pretend none of it happened?”

“That’s not my place,” he said staunchly. “I just wanted to check on you. Make sure you’re alright.”

“Well, I don’t think I am,” you admitted, “Even when he’s here, I’m lonely. He touches me and I just think of her. And in a month, he won’t be able to do whatever he wants. I’ll be healing, I’ll be up all night with a baby, and he’ll out having his fun again. I’ll be alone and-- I can’t just walk away like him and get my kicks.”

Steve tilted his head and you saw the thoughts behind his eyes. You weren’t sure exactly what was racing through his mind and you were suddenly ashamed of all you’d confessed. You cringed and picked at the tray of celery.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said all that.” 

“No, it’s…” He slowly moved around the counter. As he came close, he reached out to stroke your arm with his knuckles. “You’re not alone.” You peered up at him as he gripped your arm more firmly, “I think I might be a pretty good uncle. Always been good at sleepless nights to and I’m always on-call.”

You laughed despite yourself. “I don’t know that ‘babysitter’ is a good trade for ‘captain’.”

“Well, I’m usually who they call in when Bucky’s not available, so--”

“Steve,” Bucky’s voice cut through the air.

Steve straightened up and looked over at his friend as he stepped away from you. He turned and crossed his arms as he planted his elbows on the counter. He leaned on it casually with a grin. “Hey, just dropping off the stroller.”

“Oh?” Bucky’s eyes flicked from Steve to you. “Thanks for that.”

“Ah, you know, least I can do.” Steve said.

“Hon,” Bucky said, “I’m not interrupting anything? You don’t mind if I borrow Steve?”

You shook your head and reached for a carrot. He smirked and his eyes turned to pinpoints as he looked at Steve.

“I need you to take a look at that old bike in the garage,” Bucky said, “You still interested?”

“Hmm, well, depends how bad you’ve fucked it up,” Steve scoffed as he pushed away from the counter and rounded to his oldest friend, “You know, I can’t fix all your mistakes.”

You watched them leave and swallowed. Your stomach was a pit. You snapped the lid back on the container and shoved it away. Just a month and you’d be too distracted to care about your husband and his deceptions.

💔

You retreated upstairs but couldn’t focus long enough to keep yourself busy. You tried to read, tried to watch something, tried just to sit still but you couldn’t. So you headed for a shower and let the hot water fog your mind and your existence. The steam eased your muscles and the idea of a nap steadied your mind. You would deal with Bucky after.

You stepped out of the shower and wrapped yourself in a towel, barely able to hid your whole stomach. You opened the door to the bedroom and stopped short as you weren’t alone. You were confused; stunned. A chair stood empty at the end of the bed as Steve stood without his shirt by your night table. He unbuckled his belt as he looked up.

Bucky swept through the door and you looked at him in horror.

“What the fuck is going on?” You blinked.

“It’s okay, honey,” he neared and touched your damp shoulders. “This is gonna fix everything.”

“What are you talking about?” You hissed as you clung to your towel.

“You’re gonna even the score,” he leaned in as he flicked your chin with his hand. 

“What? I--” You glanced over at Steve as he watched silently. “No, you can’t be serious. Steve, come on. Put your shirt on.”

“I saw how close you were standing,” Bucky grabbed your chin, “I saw the smile. I saw the same light I used to when you looked at me.”

“No, no, it’s not--”

“Go on,” he gripped the top of your towel and tore it away. “Get it all out while you can.”

He spun you and shoved you towards the bed as you tried to cover yourself. You were humiliated as your eyes met Steve’s. You barely kept from crumpling as you shielded your chest and vee.

“Please, Steve, don’t--”

“Don’t talk to him.” Bucky snapped and you heard the chair scratch on the hardwood as he sat. “Steve, hurry up.”

“This is ridiculous. You can’t--”

“I’ll hold you down myself. We both know either way, you’re gonna like it.” Bucky snarled. “You always do.”

“No, I--”

You were stunned as Bucky quickly stood and stormed towards you. He slapped your ass hard enough to sting and your legs buckled. He nudged you closer to the bed and retreated once more to the chair.

“Lay down, honey,” Bucky ordered.

You trembled as you peeked over your shoulder. Bucky pointed to the bed, his face was a wall. He wasn’t the man you married. You turned to Steve as he stood in only his briefs and begged him with your eyes. He didn’t hold your gaze for long as his eyes fell to your swollen tits.

You peered over at the door and Bucky tutted. “You think you could beat either of us, hon?”

You lowered your head and dropped your arms. You lifted a knee onto the mattress and carefully climbed up. You turned and dropped heavily onto your back. You laid flat in your surrender as your skin burned in shame.

The bed dipped by your feet and Steve touched your ankles.

“Come on, open those legs,” Bucky demanded, “He’s strong enough to do it himself. Aren’t you, Steve?”

You looked at Steve as he nodded. His pupils were dilated as his irises flamed with blinding lust. You’d never seen it in him outside of battle; the numbing and entrancing haze. You shuddered and pulled your legs apart as Steve lifted them to bend on either side of him.

“She likes it when you use your mouth,” Bucky directed, “It’ll help loosen her up.”

“Why are you doing this?” You whined.

“Stop playing the saint. We both know you want this.” Bucky growled. 

Steve bent between your legs and you closed your eyes. You felt his breath on your thigh and tried to draw your thighs together but they were kept apart by his head. As his tongue whispered along your cunt you hissed and threw your arm over your face. You were trying to hide; from Steve, from Bucky, from the world.

Steve delved deeper and you gasped at the warmth of his mouth only our cunt. His hand crawled along your thigh as he pushed your leg away from his hand and snaked up over your stomach. He stroked your belly as he lapped at you. You squirmed as your breath hitched and tried not to make a sound.

Your feet arched and you dug your heels into the mattress. You squeezed the duvet beneath you as the waves crested and you felt yourself dissemble. You choked as your thighs tensed and you writhed in delight. You came with a squeak, the call of your defeat as your hand shot down to push Steve’s head closer. The bed shifted as your orgasm crashed over you and left you senseless.

Steve sat up and your arm fell from over your eyes. He wiped his lips and moved up between your legs. Bucky tisked and cleared his throat.

“Get her on her knees and turn her around.” He commanded.

Steve grabbed your wrist and drew you up. Your back ached but it was dulled by the pulsing in your core. You were guided by Steve’s touch as he got you to your knees and turned you to face your husband. Bucky sat straight and stony as he watched. He didn’t flinch, didn’t look away, his legs spread wide as his metal head gripped his thigh.

Steve ran his hands along your shoulders and he nudged you onto all fours. You caught yourself and hung your head as his fingers danced down to your hips. He reached behind you and you winced as his tip met your folds. He teased you as he wetted himself with your arousal and you took a breath as he pushed against your entrance.

He eased into an inch at a time. As he met his limit, he bent over you and hooked his arm around you to squeeze your tit. He flicked your nipple as he thrust slowly and you groaned. You gulped and held your breath as he kept a gentle but steady rhythm and you saw Bucky’s toe tap in the edge of your vision.

“Fuck her. Hard.” Bucky said. “Make her look at me.”

Steve’s other hand went to your chin and he framed your face as he lifted it. You closed your eyes as he slowly sped up with each tilt. 

“Open your eyes,” Bucky snarled. “Honey, look at me.”

Your eyes snapped open and met your husband’s. A smirk curved his lips as your body was jolted by the man behind you. Steve kneaded your tit as he panted in your ear. He drew you up as he sat back on his heels and bounced you in his lap. He touched your stomach again, rubbing it as he moved your body against his.

You grasped Steve’s wrist as he held your chin. You gritted your teeth as you tried to fight the rising ripples along your spine. Your eyes threatened to roll back and Bucky shook his head at you, a warning. Your vision blurred and you barely noticed as his hand slid up to his crotch.

You choked as you tried to hold in the ecstasy that enshrined you. You twitched against Steve and reached to press against his thighs. Your touch only seemed to encourage him and he sped up once more, the clap of his flesh filled your ears as moans tumbled from you.

“Fuck,” Steve swore, “Ah, shit.”

“Don’t cum in her,” Bucky barked.

Steve lifted you off of him frantically. You fell onto your hands again and felt a heat spill over your ass. His groans swirled around you as he came and he stopped as he rested his tip against you. He dragged his cock along your ass and spread his cum, tapping your flesh with a sigh.

“Catch your breath, honey,” Bucky stood and neared. He bent and caught your chin. “You did well but you’re not done yet.” He chuckled as he ran his thumb over your bottom lip, “You never could keep up with us, could you?”


End file.
